


Oh, Fuck, It's Godot

by Omnifiglot



Category: Waiting for Godot - Fandom
Genre: Sequel, Unofficial Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:35:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29722173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omnifiglot/pseuds/Omnifiglot
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Oh, Fuck, It's Godot

Act

_ A country road. A tree. _

_ Evening.  _

_ Estragon, sitting on a low mound, is trying to take off his boot. He pulls at it with both hands, panting.  _

_ He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again. As before.  _

_ Enter Vladimir.  _

**Vladimir:** Oh, give it up already. Just go ahead and keep the damn thing on.

**Estragon:** I shall do as I please!

**Vladimir:** _ (Troubled.)  _ I don’t know how it has escaped my notice till now, but why are you wearing such a cheap suit?

**Estragon:** _ (Still struggling with the boot.)  _ Mind your own wardrobe.

**Vladimir:** No, that’s the thing. Mine is rather cheaper than I remember, too.  _ (He shrugs.) _ Well, no matter. I don’t expect Godot to be dressed any better.

**Estragon:** Who?

**Vladimir:** Godot.

**Estragon:** His name’s Godot?

**Vladimir:** Or Garot. Or Pazzok. Or something. But I do think it was Godot.

**Estragon:** Who’s Godot?

**Vladimir:** The man we’re supposed to meet by this tree, of course!

**Estragon:** Are you sure it was this tree?

**Vladimir:** Yes, I’m sure! The leafless willow.

**Estragon:** It just seems we’ve been here an awfully long while.

**Vladimir:** Perhaps. But I’ll wait here as long as I need. I keep my appointments.

**Estragon:** Perhaps you do, but I’m not going to spend another minute waiting for this Godot. I hear he beats children.

**Vladimir:** Some of them, yes.

_ Estragon does not leave. _

**Vladimir:** I thought you said you were leaving.

**Estragon:** I did, but—

_ A loud car horn interrupts the scene, and a super stretch limousine pulls up, disgorging an imposing, rotund man wearing a flowing purple silk robe and tinted Gucci sunglasses. “Ego” by Willy William is booming from the limo’s speakers, demonetizing the performance. This is Godot. _

**Godot:** Here I am, bitches.

**Vladimir:** Wait a minute … who are you, sir? Are you Godot?

_ Godot nods solemnly. _

**Estragon:** Well, then! I supposed there’s no need to wait here any longer.

**Vladimir:** Quite right. Godot has come at last! I trust your trip was pleasant?

**Godot:** Hella.

**Vladimir:** Excellent. Well, then, I suppose … well, we should get to the purpose of our appointment.

**Godot:** Ugh …  _ (He doubles over, suddenly experiencing stomach trouble.) _

**Estragon:** Are you all right, sir? You look a bit—

_ Godot detonates, spraying Vladimir and Estragon and the stage and front-row audience in Godot shrapnel. The music stops suddenly at the sound of a record scratch. _

**Vladimir:** Shit!

**Estragon:** What was that?

**Vladimir:** That was Godot!

**Estragon:** Who?

**Vladimir:** Godot!

**Estragon:** His name is Godot?

**Vladimir:** Well, it was! Weren’t you paying attention?

**Estragon:** Oh …  _ (He suddenly feels queasy.) _

**Vladimir:** Wait, are you all right?

**Estragon:** Am I what? Oh dear ...

_ Estragon detonates in like manner. _

**Vladimir:** Driver! Driver!

_ Desperate, Vladimir opens the driver side door of the limousine. It is empty. _

**Vladimir:** But how …

_ Vladimir detonates as well. _

_ The stage is silent for ten seconds. At last, two boys show up, hay sticking to their clothes. One is visibly bruised. They produce rags and wipe down the car. When it’s clean, they get inside. The doors close and the car backs off the stage. _

_ House lights come on. Doors open and ushers begin cleaning the theater. Stage crew silently emerge and begin mopping the stage. There are no other indications the show has ended. Upset patrons demanding a refund should be reminded they’ve only themselves to blame for attending a show called “Oh, Fuck, It’s Godot.” _


End file.
